So yesterday I had a bunch of people over and such. It was actually really nice. I love everyone who was there. They are all such beautiful, funny, wonderful people. I just want to hang out with them everyday. I feel less like the awkward shy girl around them and there’s never a dull moment. I was so happy that everyone who said they would come did. Especially this guy I may or may not like…. I really don’t know how I feel about him considering I don’t know him that well but he’s really nice, outgoing, and badass on the barbecue haha. I’m actually opening up to people about maybe wanting to date him because honestly, holding back my feelings for people I like has gotten me fucking nowhere. I wish I could be super confident and not awkward around him but that’s just not me. It’s like part of me wants to be like ya I like you but the other part is like oh god what if he doesn’t like me back and thinks I’m really creepy (which I am but that’s not the point). Anyways, last night was pretty drama free and fun and nice even if it didn’t go exactly as I had pictured. Maybe eventually I’ll be less insecure and be able to flirt with people or whatever cause I suck at it aha. Maybe this time a relationship will actually work out for me…..